Cik Mas Menulis

Which emotion would I like to better understand in myself?

I would like it to be ✨anxiety✨.

Looking back at many incidents in my life — including the fact that I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder last year — I realize I’ve been struggling with this emotion for a long time.

I’m not sure if it was rooted since I was a child but I still remember a time where I felt extremely nervous that I peed in my skirts at a stage! 💦😭

I thought it was just it — I would manage it once I grew older.

I could certainly say yes, now, I do manage it better (and don’t pee in my skirt anymore 😌, lol).

Unfortunately , even in my 30s, speaking in front of people still makes me shiver. When I feel that, my mind definitely goes blank, and my words start to stutter.

I have too many brilliant things to say in my mind that I would like to share but I couldn’t focus, think and speak eloquently.

When that happens, my points are not well delivered so it has always become a disappointing moment for me.

*crying in foreign language*

I’m still figuring out ways to be able to speak and deliver my speech in front of people. I know this requires practice and failures.

I won’t give up.

Do you also get nervous speaking in front of others? How does it feel for you? Drop a comment — I’d love to hear and not feel so alone. :’)